Facts About Dating Violence 1 out of 4 high school students is, or has been in the past, involved in an abusive relationship. Jealousy is the leading cause of dating violence. Only 1 out of 25 victims of dating violence ever seeks the help of a teacher, police officer, or counselor. Only about 4 out of 10 relationships end after the onset of violence or abuse.  How can you tell if a relationship is abusive? Have you stopped spending time with friends or family because of boyfriend or girlfriend jealousy? Are you forced to explain and justify every place you go, everything you do, and every person you see, to avoid making your boyfriend or girlfriend angry? Does your boyfriend or girlfriend ridicule, criticize, belittle or insult you? Are you afraid to disagree with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Has he/she ever hit, slapped, shoved, kicked, or thrown things at you? If you have answered yes to any of these questions you may be involved in an abusive relationship. Often people don't realize they are being abused, especially if there is no physical violence. You may feel that the abuse is your fault and that you are responsible for the problems in the relationship. Remember: THE ABUSE IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You cannot make someone hurt you - they make a choice to do it. A healthy relationship is based on equality, trust, respect, and open communication. Go to top  What can I do if I'm involved in an abusive relationship? If your boyfriend or girlfriend is abusive, it is likely the abuse will happen more frequently and become increasingly more violent over time. 1. It is important to tell someone and get support. Talk to a friend, a parent or relative, or an adult in your life who you trust. Come up with a safety plan. Keep some spare money and phone numbers on you at all times. Always let family and friends know where you are going to be, and when you will be home. You know your abuser best. What do you need to do to keep yourself safe? If you decide to end the relationship, get support. You may want to talk with someone at school, especially if you are afraid there may be physical violence. You can also call a 24-hour domestic violence hotline and talk to a counselor. A counselor can offer emotional support, help you come up with a safety plan for ending the relationship, and give you information about legal services that are available for you if you need them. Go to top  It Is Not Your Fault. Don't Blame Yourself. Hotlines Susan B. Anthony Project Hotline Domestic Violence Toll Free Sexual Assault Toll Free Sexual Assault Toll Free En Español Go to top 860-482-7133 1-888-774-2900 1-888-999-5545 1-888-568-8332